What Would Bowie Do?

In my days of turmoil,
when I feel confused and blue
I ask myself a question:
"What would Bowie do?"

How would the Starman handle
this situation quite mundane?
Will I get an answer
from the old Aladdin Sane?

I was playing Ziggy
for the millionth time,
when the sky had turned
a shade of rosé wine.

In his shiny tin can
crashing from the stars,
He landed in my kitchen
all the way from Mars.

Pinching myself silly,
distrusting what I see:
Thin White Duke in person
came down to speak to me!

Brushing off the star dust,
He stepped out of his ship.
Grabbed me by the collar
with a snow white grip.

"Here is the answer,
I'm tired of your crap:
wear red disco pants,
and shut your bloody trap."